6 years ago, I make this great bunch of friends during my masters, some batchmates, some their friends or boyfriends or siblings. we have this nice gang with all but 2 guys. One exception being this tiny fair and cute girl whose boyfriend is also part of the gang and whom the entire gang treats as a toddler; the another one is yours truly, who does not show enough signs of feminity at the time to be considered as another gender by the rest. Owing to the mere composition of this group, our tp activities, jokes shared or timings of staying out at night are never limited to what ppl would associate with 'decent' girls, the parents don't seem to mind either coz they know the gang has enough guys to take care of toddler and the other girl, well, needs no care really, bcoz it takes a while to figure out she is one. Some other notable characters in the group:

Teddy- the big brown bear who gets upset easily and grunts for an answer to everything that sounds like a question,

Sid - character traits identifiable with sid of 'ice age', talks non stop but ppl laugh whenever he opens his mouth, also toddler's boyfriend,

Slim shady - a sickly thin wirey single dimensional structure that also talks and thinks, is slow at both though. We call him a true scientist owing to his only virtue that we lack in - patience.

'Fata' - the womaniser. the name, in bong, literally means 'break open'. Myself and toddler are spared of fata's antics since we fall in the friends category, also since he never has a dearth of women, and more importantly because toddler is a toddler and I am the way I am. He also specialises in clearing the toughest competitive exams though never takes an interest in pursuing them further, he just enjoys solving the papers.

We sit back in our labs late into the evenings, sipping lemon tea, grateful to the autoclave for taking its own time to cool off, chatting up with the doctoral scholars about 'serious stuff' such as 'degrees vs jobs', cracking up every now and then, engaging in a string of witty and hilarious conversations, counting and rating fata's women. We walk down the long stretch till the auto stands when we venture out for home (just to buy more time), stopping at tea stalls for tea and fags, gobbling down phuchkas  (similar to golgappa in delhi and panipuri in mumbai) on the way. Occassionally me and toddler are used as guinea pigs for joint-tasting, a peculiar game deviced for us where we are to take alternate puffs and decide which of the fags contain the 'special stuff'.

During the same time, get into my first relationship. Dad says its 'puppy love', mom says 'he looks like ur kid bro', friends say 'does not match up at all'. I continue with it, having heard and read enough about commitments and sacrifice and acceptance etc. Friends dislike but try and put up with him whenever he is in town.

4 years back: The group disperses after we get our respective degrees. Teddy moves down south for another degree, Sid lands up a job abroad, fata clears another bunch of exams only to discard the lucrative job options and taking up a phd in a reputed univ famous for being the first ones to install condom vending machines in their premises. Toddler lands up a job as a scientist in a nuclear research establishment. Slim shady joins the rest of the batch and goes abroad for a doctoral. The group express concerns over the possibility that he might be denied a visa and even get jailed for being suspected as a 'biological weapon' (is infested with a diverse range of infectious diseases owing to low immunity)

I land up a job and move to another city to be closer to pup and try and figure out if things will really work out between me and him. Things go downhill, I decide on a mutual discussion on where we are heading. Pup insists he has no intentions of changing the man he is: read, living shabbily, dressing shabbily, being glued to his games 24x7, borrowing and not paying up soft loans taken from his friends, not managing his own finances, not sharing responsibilities, never for once paying the bill (thinks chivalry is overrated) but also insists that he thinks we ARE happy.

I try and analyse if I am happy and if I will be happy but in the 2 years to follow come up with the same answer I dread to acknowledge, but the truth stares me in the face. Its a bitter compromise.

Finally one day, I realise I've fallen for someone else. I also realise its time to end chapter 1 first. I finally call it off giving honest reasons. Pup reacts in all vicious ways possible. One of them being reaching out to my group and letting them in on manouvred personal information. I distance myself from everybody to come out of trauma. Group being mostly guys with broken hearts at the time, sympathise with pup although they once hated him. My silence leads them to believe his claims are true. I am in no mood to defend myself. I lose them, and they lose me.

4 months back: Teddy and sid are now happily married (to different people, of course). Toddler broke up with sid long back and hasn't been in touch with the group ever since. Fata is still enjoying his life at the campus. Pup has moved on to his third girlfriend after me. I am single again, have moved to my hometown to evade the loneliness, only to discover I have no friends left in that city. I feel nostalgic, remember old times. Suddenly a realisation strikes me, what if I die tomorrow? ( I think such things at my loony best) I type in a mail to sid leaving my contact number. I don't get a response for months. Doesn't do wonders to my ego but I don't regret writing the mail. Its a positive step, a small one, that can make us reconnect and smile again. I have done my bit, i say to myself, now its their turn. I hope they are as loony as me to keep their male egos aside and bury the hatchet.

2 days back: Sid pings on my messenger 'hows u'...'u do the dissapearing act whenever you feel like'...'i never thought you would miss out on my wedding'...'how could you think we have changed sides?'...'lets not talk about him. lets just put it behind'...'hey by the way, guess what? I was again royally treated to a meal of rotten eggs here'..