Like all diligent Indian parents in the world, my parents are looking for a match for me these days. Since I am such a WoW, they hardly find me at home except on certain weekends. Weekends, that turn into a battleground with animated discussions on how to go about the great hunt for Mr Right. One such weekend, some forms were being filled in for a matrimonial agency..

Me: Ok I have filled in my professional qualifications. Now you guys fill in the rest. (clearly bored and uninterested)
Dad: Ok. What are you filling in the complexion column?
Brother: (sudden and unwanted appearance) BLACK. Leaves no room for doubt
Me: (ignoring bro) dark. of course
Dad: You dont say dark
Ma: You are NOT dark
Me: Since when?
Dad: You shud write wheatish..
Me: I am Not wheatish. I am just dark
Ma: But it sounds so bad..
Me: But it is the truth
(Ma and Dad have a morose ex-pression now)
Dad:(straightens up) Wheatish has many shades..
Bro: (sudden appearance again) In that case please provide a shade card along with photo.
Me: Ok fine. Is tan ok?
Ma: How does brown sound?
Bro: She will get proposals from africanos..
Ma: Tan it is..

On another such weekend, when they were showering me with proposals, their memory chanced upon one of my very few single male friends they knew of..now this friend has been a good friend of mine but he has bizarre mood swings that earned him the adjective "bipolar"..Some excerpts from the conversation..

Ma: What about him? Do you like him?
Me: Uff Ma (irritated)
Ma: Why? Whats wrong with him?
Me: (thought a bit) Nothing..he is a bit crazy
Ma: Mad? Then how does he work in office?
Me: Uff his firm doesnt know he is mad.
Dad:(enters the room) Who is mad? What are we talking abt here?
Ma: We just have an additional candidate here. He is a friend of hers and I just saw his pic too.
Me: Ma! He is no candidate, he is just a friend
Dad: So what? You will need to be friends with whomsoever you spend your life with. Or you want us to look for foes for you?
Me: Uff dad.. but we keep fighting frequently and then making up after long awkward silences
Dad: You can do that all your life after you get married. Get me his dad"s name and number.  
Me: (pillow on my head and ears now) Darn!..leave my poor friend alone!
Ma and Dad: (after a pause) Ok..what about your other guy friends?
Me: (Without blinking an eye) ALL MARRIED OR GAY!